Exercises — Week 16: Week 16 — Language and Style: Precise Words and Varied Sentences

1. Style Revision: The Food Bank Volunteer Paragraph

1. Copy this paragraph into a document: "There are a lot of students at our school who volunteer at the food bank. They go there on Saturdays. They sort cans and stuff. They pack boxes. The boxes go to families. In my personal opinion, I think the work is really good. Due to the fact that prices went up this year, more families than ever came. The volunteers were super busy. It was basically the best thing since sliced bread for the neighborhood."
2. Replace every vague or informal word or phrase (such as a lot, stuff, really good, super, basically, and the cliché) with precise, formal language.
3. Combine at least four of the short, choppy sentences using a phrase, a compound structure, or a subordinate clause that shows how the ideas relate.
4. Cut every redundant or wordy phrase, such as "In my personal opinion, I think" and "Due to the fact that," and replace each with a concise version.
5. Read the original and your revision aloud. Then write two sentences: one naming the strongest word choice you made and one explaining how your sentence variety changes the way the paragraph sounds.